Thursday, October 13, 2016

Disagreements for the Sake of Heaven - Kol Nidre 5777

In the year 2000, I applied to and was accepted into a fellowship of people from all over North America, applying to graduate school to become Jewish Communal professionals.  The fellowship brings together students becoming cantors, rabbis, educators, social workers, academics, and non-profit managers/CEOs from across religious denominations into a community called the Wexner Graduate Fellowship.

The Wexner Graduate Fellowship was created so that Jewish professionals from different backgrounds and orientations might reach across boundaries of religious observance, beliefs, and disciplines to create bridges and friendships that otherwise might never have been. 

At the time, I thought the best part of the fellowship was that the program paid for the majority of graduate school and brought us together for all-expense paid conferences twice a year for several days of learning.  And it’s true, having the Wexner fellowship during graduate school was extraordinary.  But the gift of tuition and professional development pales in comparison to what I’ve gained since then, in the last 11 years since I completed the graduate fellowship and became a part of the Wexner Alumni community.

The alumni of the program include some of the most interesting and diverse leaders in their respective fields of Jewish communal life.  There are right-leaning Orthodox rabbis and secular humanist academics who have studied together and learned from one another, each having gained an invaluable tool: how to listen to and accept difference without becoming defensive, reactive, or closed-down.  In fact, we’ve learned not just to tolerate difference, but to welcome it.  We’ve learned that expanding the circle of those with whom we share ideas and challenges strengthens us all, and it strengthens the Jewish people as a whole.

I could never have known in 2000 how my acceptance into this fellowship would change me; how it would open my eyes and my heart to people who looked and sounded and thought SO differently than I did.
And when I look around at our world today in 2016, I lament the uniqueness of these skills.  The vast majority of us have limited capacity for anything or anyone different from us.  We proudly wave our flags, declaring our political and social affiliations in much the same way as we declare loyalty to a favorite football team.  It’s me versus you.  My team or yours.  If you win, I lose.  If I win, you lose.  And none of us seems to see that when we live like this, we all lose.

I dare say the discourse in our country in 2016 is less tolerant, less open to difference, and more polarized than it’s been since the Civil War.  Sure, issues and ideologies have created divisions in our society many times in the past, but the stark intolerance for even a conversation with someone from a different perspective is strikingly new.

This is what worries me most.  There exists a social acceptability to refusing to accept or understand differences of opinion.  And this acceptability of a polarized society alongside threats of violence against those who disagree makes it a particularly scary time.

We Jews have a collective memory of an eerily similar time in history: Nazi Germany.  Hitler rose to power and was democratically elected by a populace mobilized to hate those who were different; he promised to bring the people of Germany together with his nationalist platform - using a combination of political acuity, deceptiveness, and evasion. He advocated violence against anyone who disagreed with his ideas or looked or sounded different than his ideal.

A strikingly similar arena exists today, not just in national politics, but in our own communal life as well.

You may have read an article last week in the JTA, the Jewish Telegraphic Agency about something that happened to a colleague of mine.

She’s a Jewish educator and a rabbi who has been the target of a smear campaign taking aim at her love for Israel and professional integrity. She has received hundreds of pieces of hate mail, aggressive phone calls, social media attacks, attempts to have her fired from her job and even death threats.  

The reason?  She supports a different political position on Israel than do her attackers.  One of the letters she received began with a harsh critique of her political beliefs and then continued,  “I regretfully must express my utmost hope that you are hit by a car to put a stop to the injury you will cause the children that I love.”
As the authors of the JTA piece note, “This was not an anonymous comment hiding in the murky depths of a blog post somewhere. It was a signed letter fervently praying for the violent demise of a leader in the community.”
What is this about?  When did it become socially acceptable to call for the death of someone whose ideology differs from our own?
Have we as a society forgotten what it means to be part of a democracy?  To be a citizen of a country founded to be a place of refuge for those whose political or religious beliefs differed from the mainstream?
It is decidedly un-Jewish.  Our Talmud is a compilation of disagreements between respected sages, each of whom were given a voice in the text and canonized alongside one another.  The Talmud includes even minority opinions, opinions that were never instituted as law, opinions from sages more and less respected as scholars and leaders of their time.  The editors of the Talmud as it exists today not only tolerated or valued differences of opinion, they venerated them.  The more ideas, the more scholarly debate, the more potential to learn.
In fact, the Talmud[1] holds up as a model two schools of opinion that historically disagreed about everything and anything.  They disagreed about the proper way to light a Chanukkah menorah; about the proper way to purify something that’s been ritually contaminated; and the specifics of Jewish legal divorce law.  They disagreed about the specifics of keeping kosher; the laws about appropriate behavior between men and women; and about what constitutes legal marriage.
And yet, the Talmud teaches - boasting about the fact - that the two schools would eat together, study together, and marry each other.  They were brethren.  They placed high value on the opportunity to debate and discuss.  And these disagreements did not isolate them from one other.  They socialized, they co-mingled, they respected one another and each one’s right to hold a different view.
Differences of opinion were known as “disagreements for the sake of heaven” - which means that their utmost hope was to sharpen their understanding of ideas and texts - not to be right, not to prove that the Other was wrong.  But to try to determine the best way to act.
Further, the Talmud[2] recounts a story where the conflict between these two houses came to a head and their opinions differed so much that it seemed there existed two completely different Torahs.  At this point, the Talmud teaches, “a divine voice came down and said, ‘Elu v’Elu Divrei Elohim Chayim,” (which means “these and also those are words of the living God”).  The argument is interrupted by a heavenly voice proclaiming that there is truth in both opinions, even as the two ideas seemed to completely contradict one another.
But, lest we think that it’s like a “stale mate” in chess or a “draw” in checkers, in which there is no conclusive end to the exchange, the heavenly voice concludes,“v’HaHalakha K’Beit Hillel”. Even though there was value - even divinity - in both opinions, the law was to go according to this one only. 
While differing opinions on the matter were valued, the society had to rely on rules to guide right action.  The ultimate value, shared by both groups, was to co-exist in one society strong enough to hold space for difference.  It wasn’t right to create two Torahs.  They did not crave autonomy or uniformity - but rather to live beside and among those with whom they disagreed.
The first half of the heavenly voice’s message provided the authenticity of two very different schools of thought.  And the second half of the message allowed for the creation of a social fabric in which both parties could co-exist with one standard of behavior.  The opinion chosen and the opinion not chosen are both holy.  We are to learn from both and to respect both as viable ways to understand things.  But we live by only one of them.
Our ancestors knew how to argue without fighting. They never would have imagined inciting violence against the opposition.  They would not have understood the social, political, and intellectual polarization that exists today. 

The world of the Jewish sages was a society deeply invested in serving God, finding the way that best advocated justice, tolerance, and peace.  They valued opportunities to learn - not just from those who shared their opinions and biases, but, all the more so, people who looked at the same world with completely different eyes.
They would argue that a culture unwilling to tolerate difference is one that shuns learning.  A group that demands uniformity and is willing only to hear that with which it already agrees, is one incapable of growing.  
A modern orthodox rabbi and scholar, David Hartman, z”l, wrote a book whose title, A Heart of Many Rooms, draws its inspiration from a text in Tosefta Sotah suggesting that we place in one room those ideas and perspectives with which we agree, and then in another room those with which we don’t agree.  This is what creates a heart of wisdom: the ability to hold two differing positions - the holy and the profane, the sacred and the mundane - in one heart.  Your heart.
As November draws closer and the vitriol we hear likely becomes uglier and more pointed, I want to encourage us all to remember the wisdom of the Jewish tradition - the wisdom of a heart - and a community - of many rooms.
Let’s build a community - here at Am Echod - and in spaces throughout our lives - where diversity and difference are cherished, where we find we can learn and grow from an open conversation with those who see the world very differently than do we.  Invite in the opportunity to be challenged by those who look and sound different than you do.  Remember: these and those are the words of the Living God.  And understand that when the election draws to a close, we must choose one path to walk together. 
When we embrace difference, we each grow stronger and wiser.  Let this wisdom guide our steps and our hearts.
Kein Yehi Ratzon / Shana Tova.



[1] Yevamot 14b
[2] Eruvin 13b

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